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Italian grandmas reading Jose Canseco tweets are delightful!...

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INCLUDES: --biker hits tree; bikes himself to hospital with branch impaled through neck --guy passes driving test...celebrates... and has it taken away for DUI --somebody keeps pooping in the holes at a golf course in Norway...

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INCLUDING: --San Francisco is fighting back against public drunkenness with urine proof paint --there are still traces of illegal drugs in our Southern Ontario drinking water --A one ton Satan statue has arrived in Detroit...

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Who will win between a dryer, a hot water heater and a stove? Who cares--it's hilarious to watch!...

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INCLUDES: --Swiss Army called in to save cows from heat wave --woman lets her "vampire" boyfriend suck her blood daily --idiot feeds horse marijuana; horse bucks off groom at wedding...

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The Mariners turned a very bizarre triple play on the Jays yesterday....

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Surfers are a special kind of crazy....

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INCLUDES: --wife finds out that husband lied about quitting smoking from Google Street View --guy faked chest pains to ask paramedics to fix his air conditioner --Spanish town gives human rights to cats and dogs...

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What an awesome new summer sport!...

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INCLUDES: --guy who can't speak French wins French Scrabble World Championships --idiot bitten by rattlesnake while trying to take selfie with it; barely survives --North Carolina is rolling out online phys ed classes...

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